This is the game that never ends...yes, it goes on and on my friends...

     I've been avoiding and procrastinating, putting off, and making excuses, anything to avoid another quest.

     "Maybe I should change the requirements," Jeremy said. "Maybe I should let you just get to level five."
     "Oh no," I answered. "You still have to make a whole scarf, and I haven't seen you crochet more than those first three rows."
     "That's because I can't find my hook."
     "Gee, that's convenient."

     We've been on stay-cation this week, a perfect opportunity for both of us to 'catch-up' on our challenge, neither one of us wanting to follow through.  I'm still uncertain, but I have a small suspicion that Jeremy was trying to not-so-subtly hint that I needed to do another quest.  He suggested "We" watch all three Lord of The Rings movies this week.  Humoring him, and deciding I might as well get the pain over with, I finally told him last night that, sigh, "Ok, I guess I'll do another quest."

     Loading up the game, Jeremy said to me, "Ok babe, here's your hot guy" as I selected my character from the list.  I looked at Shammel, looked at him, and looked at Shammel again.
     "Maybe you should grow your hair out," I said.
     "And maybe I should get a green tunic and some tights," he replied dryly.
     The mental image amused me so much, I burst out in a near hysterical fit of laughter.   "Ok, Ok," I said catching my breath and wiping the tears from my eyes, "Maybe that's not such a good idea."

     I entered Middle Earth with great apprehension, having forgotten everything I almost-kinda-sorta knew about how to move around and do things in the game. Jeremy began explaining my console to me. "And if you look up here and see the arrow, it will point you to where the next quest is."
     "OH!" I exclaimed. "It's kind of like the 'You Are Here' on the mall directory. I can never find my way using one of those either."
     Ignoring me, Jeremy continued. "Press I for inventory. And click on this. You can put on this and that and the other thing, if you have them. Now press this, and click on that. Type in your last name, and give over your first born child, and you can use this weapon which really doesnt do a whole lot. You'll get better stuff as you finish quests and level up."
     "Oooh kaaay." My head was swimming with too much information. Knowing he'd walk me through it all again, I feigned understanding. So, I clicked on one fellow with a ring over his head, followed his instructions, which was to find Guy Number Two with a ring on his head.

  Games driven by arrow keys are the bane of my existence. I used the compass looking thingy on the upper right hand of the console and walked drunkenly towards my next objective.
     "Um, Melanie," Jeremy said. "You're going in the wrong direction."
     "OH!" I said, and swerved Shammel violently in the opposite direction.  Running into objects, swerving left and right, and tilting the 'view' all over the place, I finally found Guy Number Two who told me I was now looking for Guy Number Three. Are you kidding me? Sighing, I blew my hair out of my eyes, and looked at Jeremy, who was oblivious to my annoyance. 
     "See! You finished two 'quests' that wasn't so bad, now was it? And LOOK! You've leveled up!" He said in an encouraging tone usually reserved for kindergartners who avoided eating the paste.
     "Yay." I answered in a flat voice.  Walking Shammel up some stairs and into a building, I found Guy Number Three, who told me to go back and talk yet again to guy number two. "WHAT?!" I said incredulous, "I was just talking to Guy Number Two! Now I have to go back?!?"  At least, Guy Number Two had some 'training' for me to do. Oh, and I picked up some "Thread bare" clothing, a cloak, a shirt, and some gloves.  Somehow these thread bare items provide armor. Um, right.
     "No, Really, they do" Jeremy said, reading my facial expression. "Click here and here. See," he pointed to yet another box that came up on the edge of the screen, "What you were wearing provides an armor of 2. This new item gives you an armor of 12." I just stared at him for a moment, and then took Shammel on his way back to Guy Number Two.  Poor Shammel still hadn't gotten his land legs back.

    "You need to train blah blah blah," Guy Number Two said.
     "What does that mean?" I asked Jeremy
     "You're just going to take your bow, and walk over to those targets."
I didn't see any targets.
     "Those targets."
I still didn't see any targets.
     "Those, right there." Taking over the key pad for a moment, he steered Shammel over to the targets.
     "OH those targets."  Seeing four burlap covered man-shaped torsos, I armed my character with my bow, clicked on a target and shot.
     "That's it," Jeremy said. "You've completed your training, now you've got the super-duper-swift arrows."
     "I don't have to hit all four targets?" I said, confused. What kind of training is this anyway?
     "Nope. Now you have to go back and talk to Guy Number Two."
I walked over to Guy Number Two, who then told me Guy Number Four had important information for me.
     "OMGoodness!" I exclaimed. "This game NEVER ENDS! How do I get out of here?"
     "Just do this last thing, and then we'll exit, ok?"
     I don't even remember what "that last thing" was, to be honest. It's all a blur, probably Shammel talking to Guy Number Four who then said go back to Guy Number Three and have a beer with Guy Number Two, oh sorry I probably should have said ALE, and then...  Well, ok, so maybe not quite like that, but it was close.

     Wanting to exit out of the game, I looked at Jeremy and said, "No wonder you get trapped. Not that I like it any better, or make any excuses because it still is just a game. But I can see why you get trapped. Why on earth would they make a game that just goes on...and on...and on..."
     "Yes but look," He interrupted my monologue. "You've made it to level three. See, it really wasn't that hard. Now was it?"

No. But it was painful. Really really painful.